Who better to represent coolness than Captain Sparrow with his famous quote:
“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”
And yes, there is a whole science behind this.
Maintaining calmness in the face of disrespect is a sign of healthy self-worth and authenticity.
In a world where full disconnection – ignorance, compulsion and competition – is not only a hype, but dictates identity and behavior, mastering the art of remaining calm in the face of disrespect is an ultimate superpower.
Generally speaking, how we perceive things (experience them innerly) is how we approach them. Our actions and attitudes are parts of our personality, and speak louder than any words. Insecurities are masked in different ways, and if you understand their root, meaning and manifestation, will you be able to re-learn your reactions and perform coolness naturally, as a part of your identity.
Start with the fact that reacting calmly, or respectfully, is not always a choice.
Understand the nature of the emotional reaction:
Our brain is on a continual mission to guide us into survival, utilizing experience to create the next moment. This is why our body uses the memory of the past to deal with the present, literally pulling up stored responses to perceived “threats” – familiar, experienced dynamics – as defensive mechanisms. These are psychological and physiological before they manifest into a physical act, and as part of the survival system fully automatized – therefore much faster than a mere decision of our conscious mind to “control” them.
Inner work paves the new way through past experiences; it reframes the memory of the past (mental experience) into the new approach to what is perceived as threatening, with the goal of creating the new experience – the present moment. The rest is work.
Have in mind that it needs time. Mastery is made by repetition, but it’s worth every attempt.
Here are inspiring reasons to recover your dignity and maintain coolness.
Inner Peace:
Cultivating calmness amidst disrespect keeps you rooted in your own energy and self-worth. The inner work begins with reflection on your own responsiveness. Remember, what you place in space speaks of who you are, regardless of what may have caused a reaction.
Nevertheless, if you utilize the situation as an insight into your trigger with an aim to deliberately work on it, then consider it the cue that has fully served its higher purpose. Emotional Resilience:
Responding calmly demonstrates emotional resilience, showing no intention to let others’ actions dictate your emotional state. Choosing to be yourself instead of what you’re being called to be is the highest level of authenticity. Situational Management:
State of composure – or minimal involvement – allows a clear overview and control of the flow of circumstances. Remaining calm is the best way to maintain control over the situation, avoiding its escalation into conflicting scenarios with long term damage. Increased awareness:
Being above the situation earns you respect and puts you in a position of power. With elevated presence, you are able to influence the situation in a sustainable way, ultimately creating ripple effects for the future.
Effective steps to unlock this superpower:
Analyze the root of emotional reaction by:
– its cause / where it comes from/why it occurs (trigger),
– dynamic / how it occurs (energy, interaction)
– manifestation / the way it affects your mind and how it manifests physically/verbally. Focus on reactions within your body
Observe your heart rate, breathing, sensations in your skin, extremities, head, throat, chest, and gut. Think of them as a defense response, just like everyone else’s, with one important difference: you opt for calmness as a fusion of safety and empathy. Take Responsibility For Your Behavior
Reflect on the fact that your expectations won’t change others and their relationship to self. You alone – not other person or cause – are responsible for your actions
Your behavior reveals your character and defines the quality of your life. Work on it. Apply Conscious Breathing
Deep, long breaths signal your brain that you’re safe, which slows your heart rate and regulates blood flow
Breathing allows you to choose instead of being driven: act / conscious, instead of react / impulsive Accept Divergence
Behavior is a statement about the self; understand that everyone treats others from the level of their own self-worth
Choose and work on your attitude as a sphere of your authenticity, rather than being manipulated and directed to the level of others. Set Boundaries
Your boundaries represent your respect for others as a reflection of your own confidence
Be an open ear, not a trash can – listen gracefully to address the problem constructively, but be prepared to discontinue the interaction due to offensive behavior
When your limits non-negotiably refer to respectful communication, you maintain strength and dignity and radiate healthy self-esteem
Bonus tip:
Pay attention to conventional language, where lack of defensiveness (or any reactivity) is taken as weakness or even admission. Faced with such interpretations, you may feel called in the future to be more selective with your circles, choosing them according to your own values and visions.
You are under no obligation to fix or educate those who don’t want to face their flaws and be accountable for their actions, nor will you ever be in power to succeed in it. When you consider the weight and effort you had to invest to grow beyond yourself, you will understand that everyone goes only as far as their own constraints allow.
Be aware that any sign of responsiveness to disrespect indicates connection to that same frequency. Taking it as a call to return to yourself, rather than betraying yourself by being powerless and manipulated by others, is a first step toward authentic living.
Inner strength is a supreme coolness and a compelling visiting card to approach life with.
What you become is what you connect with and what you ultimately live in the long run.
Find your answers and stay on track.
